I met up with a friend in Athens and we very quickly started to notice that we were being followed.

Who by?

An attempted creep.

Creep is the plural for tortoise and we have reason to believe that the tortoises were either:

• A Greek God in disguise – because we all know how much they like to turn into animals.
• The once-nymph, Chelônê – who was transformed into a tortoise after refusing to attend Zeus and Hera’s wedding.
• Actual tortoises – this is the most boring of the options and, unfortunately, the most likely so in this post there may be some inconsistency about what actually happened because that’s mythology for you.

The Temple of Zeus

Our first viewing was at the temple of Zeus. The tortoise raced across the grass and then proceeded to try and climb up to the structure. Heading for home perhaps? Only the Olympian gods will ever know.

Perhaps Torty had decided to try and show support by helping with the maintenance and reconstruction process of the pillars, their domino-like disks itching to be back in the air. Or, maybe, he was trying to take advantage of the free museum entrances that take place every 1st Sunday of the month between November and March (inclusive of).

The Acropolis/ Areopagus Hill/ Odeon of Herodes Atticus

Other people were definitely using the free tickets. When we got to the Acropolis there weren’t any left despite several hours remaining of entry time. The queue to get in was 45 minutes!

Still, we got some pictures of the Acropolis and the view from the nearby Areopagus Hill was also fantastic.

A visit inside the Acropolis was clearly not meant to be as, soon after, we met our Tortoise friend again. Torty was leading us along the right path. This encounter took place just outside the Odeon of Herodes Atticus, which is on the same hill as the Acropolis.

At one point Torty was so fast that only a blur showed up in my photograph!

Panathenaic Stadium

Clearly Torty was disappointed that we didn’t actually go inside the Odeon as from that moment onwards we were destined to climb stairs for the rest of the trip. It started with 107 steep steps of the Panathenaic Stadium. It’s the only one in the world made of marble AND it marked the start up of the new Olympics.

Our offering to the gods that day was a 100metre sprint which was more like a waddle from myself as I tried to keep my trousers up and film at the same time. It’s safe to say that I came second place. Torty also didn’t seem to think it was good enough because the steps just continued to grow in volume.

Lycabettus Hill

It’s animal instinct to try and find the best vantage spot, so when my friend suggested going to the tallest point in Athens how could I say no? My suggestion to walk all 277 metres of elevation instead of getting the lift was questionable.

A note to the readers: I would not recommend walking up on a summer day, it is highly likely you would get heatstroke. The picture below doesn’t show the great number of steps that we also climbed from the metro station to the official start of the hill. Out of season though, it was totally worth the wearing down of my knee caps.

Torty didn’t join us here in his usual form, but in the form of a wolf. The hill gets its name from it’s supposed bunch of lycan inhabitants. We didn’t actually see Torty per say but it was probably naptime. The hill, itself, was created by Athena accidentally dropping a rock while creating the Acropolis.

After this, what steps could possibly be left in Athens, you ask. Well, we decided to go on a day trip away from Athens.

The Theatre of Thorikos

Our previous climb must have finally been seen as a satisfactory offering as the theatre only had a small number of steep steps.

Able to fit 3000 people, the Theatre of Thorikos is the oldest preserved theatre in the world. It’s semi-oval shape means that you can easily hear voices but claps do not echo.

Back in the day, Greek tragedies were prescribed like Prozac when men were suffering from poor mental health. It was law that if a poor man couldn’t afford to go to the theatre then others had to pay for his ticket. Greece also had the first drag queens. We’ll brush over the fact that this was because women weren’t allowed to watch the shows or play characters. Dionysus was truly with us and protecting all things theatrical on this sunny day. Torty’s appearance was in the form of a barking dog.

The Temple of Poseidon at Sounion

Our last stop was at the Temple of Poseidon, where we had a wonder around and watched the setting sun.

We didn’t specifically see Torty here BUT tortoises are known to be land lovers so I think we can excuse the not wanting to visit any turtle cousins. I mean, if I get tired from my travels, can you imagine how exhausting it would be with those little legs?